one of my favorite essays recently:

Why I Think a Woman Would Make a Good President by Ellen DeGeneres (from Harper's Bazaar)

1. Taxpayers would save a bundle because they wouldn't have to pay a woman president as much -- about 27 percent less, in fact (the current gender wage gap in America). And since women's brains are better than men's at multitasking, she probably wouldn't even need a vice president, just a cell phone and a good personal assistant.

2. Her Cabinet would be cedar-lined.

3. The budget would stay balanced because women actually use those things in your checkbook that record deposits and withdrawals. And they certainly are not afraid to use a coupon.

4. Because women compromise 51 percent of the population, a female president would truly represent the majority.

5. Foreign relations would improve because a woman president would just keep calling back, saying, "We need to talk."

6. It would reinvigorate the pantsuit industry.

7. If she switched her position on an issue, no one would criticize her. Everyone knows it's a women's prerogative to change her mind.

8. Camp David would be renamed the Camp Denise Spa and Yoga Retreat. I guess that would be if I were president.

9. It sure would break up the monotony of Mount Rushmore.

10. Be honest. Wouldn't you love to see a Secret Service agent holding the presidential purse?

11. A female president would probably introduce more soft, muted tones into the White House. Perhaps after some redecorating, it would be called the Eggshell House.

12. Who's better suited to clean up the environment?

13. The antidrug slogan would be "You Kids, Get Off the Grass!"

14. We'd have a president who respects the rights of every individual, since her own rights are still relatively new to her.

15. Her road map to peace could actually work because she wouldn't be afraid to ask for directions.

16. She'd know better than to have a contract with America. She'd get herself a prenup.

17. She would figure out a way to feed the hungry and make them eat their vegetables.

18. "Hail to the Chief" would be played an octave higher, or it would be replaced entierly by Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious." Do you think you're ready for that jelly?