i'm really psyched about our mini-vacation this coming weekend. we're heading to san fran (which steve has never been to!) to attend melisss + david's wedding, and then we'll drive up to napa for a day with ann + andy. we're even gonna get crazy and go to the french laundry (a super-fancy renowned restaurant in napa valley). woohoo!

however, i am a little bummed that we won't be here in chicago on thursday night in order to see the regional air guitar championships. drat!

my fave news of the day: dennis rodman will compete in the 2005 wife-carrying world championships in sonkajaervi, finland next month. he is not married, so he has been given leave to borrow a wife for the event. steve and i think that's so totally unfair.


happy 75th birthday, shedd aquarium! (i'm a day late, but still!)

wow, what a crazy fun weekend! first, zac and penny visited. then, dad and mj visited. then i went out with sally and had a few drinks. i had so much fun that i'm pooped! now i'm ready for a weekend of relaxation!
oh drat! i guess that will have to wait until next weekend...

my friend ann has pointed out to me an event that i'm glad i didn't get to participate in: sherpa mission's 'crawl-a-thon', which took place this weekend in manhattan. another great example of how new york harbors even weirder weirdos than other big cities. sheesh!

sara's summer to do list:
- go to arlington park and bet on horseys
- see something cool at ravinia
- bike south from millenium park to the osaka garden in hyde park
- go see the new chinasaurus exhibit (note: not the official name)
- check out the museum of science and industry, which has two killer exhibits: body worlds, an amazing exhibit about the human body and game on, a history of video games

...

ps. please, dear friends, my grandpa is nearing the end of his long life. say a prayer/cross your fingers for him and for my wonderful grandma.

i'm in seattle. i have decided that kimpton hotels are generally a good price, in a good location, with a good gym. and they typically give you some sort of special surprise, like an upgrade or warm cookies in the afternoon. too bad their website is super cheesy.

i am super tired and yet i can't get the big fat presentation that i need to download. thank god i'm not into downloading big fat porn files -- i'm not patient enough.

did i already link to grocery store wars?, a cute star-wars themed film by the organic trade association? well, either way, check it out.

i know i'm a total nerd, and that i love the nytimes more than most of my readers. still, i think you might enjoy this article on slate where they debate the value of the various times columnists, even if you don't read the times. i think there should be empassioned debate and voting about op-ed columns and columnists more often.

ohmygod the file still isn't downloaded. i need to go to sleep...

i don't really understand why the detroit zoo would name its two new baby wolverines sparty and bucky. sounds like a bad idea to me, especially if they're the only surviving litter born in a north american zoo this year. that's just asking for someone to kidnap them. sheesh.

helpful hint: go to this website to request a brochure listing places where you can to go the bathroom for free when you're traveling in the US. nifty!

is it just me, or is it funny that my gynecologist's office is in the same building as playboy's corporate headquarters?

in the past 25 hours, when i wasn't working or sleeping, i watched "britney and kevin: chaotic" -- which i did mostly so that i could be hip and talk about it at the water cooler (although i sat at my desk all day and didn't even get to talk about it except for a 2 minute summary i gave to the gal who sits next to me).
anyway, i got a huge kick out of it. steve was really disturbed, but i guess he just wasn't as mentally prepared for the chaos that i was. he found this great article on slate about the show, which i think puts it into its proper place for those of us with half-a-brain who watched it. but maybe slate is over-thinking it: i just liked watching something that made me feel wonderfully, happily normal.

if i had a ton of money, i would buy these shoes in black. i tried them on sunday, and i can't stop thinking about them. since my work wardrobe is really lame and pretty much consists of a sweater and black pants every day, i thought if i could afford to buy these shoes i could wear them and be transformed into a fashionista. well, sortof.

oh yeah, and this article gets my vote for hard-hitting news story of the week.

what a busy weekend! whew!
i had a TON of work to do, our house was a mess, and i hadn't slept well the whole time that steve was gone (almost a week). sooooo, i was really looking forward to the weekend.
and, of course, wouldn't you know it, but we actually had fun plans this weekend, so even though i had lots to do, here it is sunday night and i am slightly freaked out about how little i got done.
so here's what i did and did not do:

i *did* get a bunch of work done (argh).
i did not clean at all, so none of you are allowed to come over. the bathroom is gross.
i *did* have super fun seeing becky and bart while they were visiting town. somehow they convinced me to go to a bar with karyoke (they knew someone working there) and at about 1:30 am last night i found myself singing a karyoke duet with a 6'5" black guy named damian that i'd just met. "it takes two" by rob base and dj ez rock. we pretty much rocked the place down, if you don't mind me saying so.
i did not get through the piles and piles of publications scattered across my living room. i don't know why i continue to bring more magazines home from work.
i *did* get to see an amazing shot-for-shot remake of 'raiders of the lost ark'. and i do mean amazing! if there is ever a chance to see this, make sure you don't miss it. these 12 year old kids were so inspired by the theatrical release that they started filming their own shot-by-shot remake and it took them 9 years!!! whoa. and for legal reasons, they can't distribute their tribute, or show it in public except for in educational sorts of settings, so we really lucked out to have a showing here in town.
i didn't pack away the various things that i want to give to my dad to donate and store. (he's coming in two weeks to visit).
i *did* have great meals with becky + bart and megan + christopher. we went to handlebarwith becky and bart and loved it. and we went to the ever-popular the bongo room with megan and christopher. megan used to work there, so we didn't have to wait for forever like the masses, and we were treated like royals. :)
i didn't make any of the travel reservations that are looming over me. i don't know why i hate planning the nuts-and-bolts of trips, but i do.
i *did* get to have a date with steve. not only did we go and see the raiders remake, but then we stopped at trader vic's for tiki drinks on the way home. gotta love tiki drinks!

so, i guess the weekend was a good balance after all!

hey there, you, who wants to do something good today: you know what you should do? you should call kraft, and tell them that you're happy that they're sponsoring the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago (which looks like the olympics, but much more gay and much, much more fun).
nasty hate-filled christian groups (sheesh, i hate that that's not a joking phrase) are sending kraft lots of nasty emails and making calls, and it would be really nice if they also got messages praising their decision to support the event (trust me, corporations do count the messages they receive, even if they don't react).
you can reach the fine folks at kraft via the contact us section of their website, or you could call them at 1-800-323-0768. the christians are calling, according to their rallying emails, so if you can call, please.

oh yeah, and steve and i only have so much room at our place, so if you're going to come out for the games, it's first-come, first-serve. reserve now!

...

on a very different note, my pal amy sent me this link, which is to the gallery of regrettable food. i had seen the book, but i hadn't seen the website. it is horrifying, but it is worth a few minutes of your time. you *will* laugh.

...

i wish i had $1000 just sitting around, so steve and i could see 'Revenge of the Sith' with our friends the Midwest Garrison 501st Legion Stormtroopers. (sigh). life just isn't fair!

...

work-related plug: check out the new fruit and walnut salad thing at mcdonald's. i know i sound cheesy, but it's actually good. i love the fact that it's something healthy that i can get when i'm on the run, and i know (if you like fruit) that you will like it too. *trust me*

it's been a much better day. after all, strongbad was interviewed on NPR, so that really improved things!
and then it was erin's birthday, and that's great, 'cause erin is great. yea, erin!
and then it was 75 and warm and sunny, so that kicks ass!
and to make matters even better, i got awesomely friendly happy IMs from my old pals eva and jonny ska tonight. hooray for feeling loved!
and as much as i'd like to think it's not that important, i had a good day at work.
so yeah, a good day all around. hooray!

my heart is so full tonight, and my head is swimming with emotions. i don't like to get too emotional on this here blog, because i know there are a few honest-to-god people that read this every now and then. on the other hand, i have used this as my personal journal for the past year and a half, and i'd be doing myself a great un-truth if i didn't write tonight to try to do some sort of justice to the feelings i'm dealing with right now...

my mom and i have struggled for years to understand each other, and, failing that, to get along. she has been a great scorekeeper of my faults, and of the ways that i have unintentionally hurt her. by her accounting, the pain i've inflicted has been great and intense.

that doesn't mean that our problems haven't hurt me too. i cried so hard tonight, on mother's day, that i can't think of a time in my life when i cried like this.

it aches to be someone that doesn't get along with her mother. it is incredibly sad, and even though i know -- in my head and in my heart -- that i have never intentionally done her wrong -- i feel like a big, fat failure.

if you're a girl that reads girly magazines, as i have been known to do, you have read articles by or interviews with celebrities. and sometimes you'll read about a celeb that is "estranged" from his or her parent(s). and i guess i've been judgmental, because i've always thought that there must be something wrong or evil or mean about a person who can't even be friends with their parent(s).

and now i've become that person.

i've always been a perfectionist, and i've had horrible self-esteem issues when i fail at things. i was the *worst* in my ballet class, and even though i took classes for a dozen years, when i finally gave up, it wasn't something i felt good about. it saved me a lot of time, but i considered myself a loser for quitting, when in reality i'm sure some of my lack of grace/poise/polish was innate or heriditary. i mean, i couldn't really blame myself that i had orthodics in my shoes and couldn't take pointe classes and cecchetti with the other girls! i don't know how i could have deluded myself that i could keep up without being able to do that, but i blamed myself anyhow.

and now i've failed in a much worse way. she told me on mother's day that even though she misses me, she doesn't want to hear from me or have me set foot in her house ever again.

...

i had tried to reach my mom several times today. she has caller ID and didn't pick up.

i finally got ahold of my grandma (my mother's mom) tonight. she is a saint, and she had been gone most of the day taking my grandpa to the hospital. she was in surprisingly high spirits, and was glad to talk with me. she was happy about the mother's day note that i sent her, and told me (without solicitation) that i should keep trying to make amends with my mom and that she was wishing and hoping that we could be friends.

and then my mom arrived at my grandma's place. my grandma had to practically beg to get her to talk with me on the phone. and when i capitulated to my mom's previous requests to apologize for past wrongs and seek counseling to help our relationship (something my rational self says doesn't make sense without her there), she still laid into me with a list of reasons why i'm a horrible person and then said it didn't matter if i did go to counseling since she doesn't want to hear from me or see me ever again.

it was at that point that i hung up the phone.

i am grateful for my grandmas, my mother-in-law, my fairy godmother, my good friends, my dad and brother, and my wonderful steve. i will continue to try to figure out how i could have failed so horribly at being the daughter that my mother wants. and since i don't think i can figure out any more tonight while sitting at the computer, i will now try a change of venue and take a bath to cry and think about it.

it's been a good week so far.
we have big client meetings four times a year with the operators, and they were yesterday and today. the agency prepares for these for weeks, including preparations for the presentations that we make to our clients in preparation for the presentations that we made the past two days.
if i haven't said it enough, my group at work ROCKS. my employees are superstars, and they hit the ball out of the park with their presentations. i probably jumped in to help them a bit too much with the questions they received, but all in all it worked out great. we were all really happy driving back from the meeting today, which was such a nice feeling -- definitely a highlight to my boss-ness and to my career since moving here.

some of my favorite entries from a column in today's Tribune entitled "You know you're a 'Star Wars' geek when ..."

• "You own a pair of Yoda Underoos from the 1980 'Empire' release ... and are wearing them right now."
• "You're a 27-year-old female with a cardboard cutout of Luke Skywalker."
• "You have Han and Leia figures on top of your wedding cake."
• "You own 'The Star Wars Holiday Special' featuring Bea Arthur."
• "You have more invested in your lightsaber collection than your Roth IRA."
• "You and your boyfriend fight over who gets the 'Imperial March' for their cell phone's ringtone."
• "You and your friends have matching tattoos commemorating your childhood 'Star Wars' club, 'The Bounty Hunters Alliance.' "
• "You are still mad at your father for forcing you to mow the lawn on the opening day of 'Return of the Jedi.' "
• "You claim to be able to translate R2-D2's electronic language without C-3PO's help."
• "You name your son Luke just to be able to say, 'Luke, I am your father.' "
• "You pretend your mini-van is the Millennium Falcon."
• "You've yelled, 'Nerf Herder' as a traffic insult."