up all night...

for those of you that i've already talked/complained to this vacation, i'm sorry to do it again.
for those of you that are wondering what's going on since i haven't posted, here's the latest:

steve and i are trying to figure out how and when we'll be moving to san francisco when we've both got huge amounts of work the next three weeks, and then we are scheduled to go to japan around january 20-ish (he would be leaving before me for work meetings, and i'd join him on the 26th).

anyway, i've been unable to sleep.

we're already freaking out that we're going to lose money selling our condo in chicago (there are 16 units just like it for sale in the building, and the building is offering two years without condo assessments -- ugh). and then i spent today trying to pin down the details of our japan trip, constantly running into problems with incomplete train schedules (eg: i found them for one direction, but not the other direction) and fully booked towns (no room in sapporo prior to the snow festival!). then steve told me about some crazy new projects he's going to have to do right after the japan trip that are already stressing him out.

steve and i decided tonight that both financially and stress-wise, we're going to do two things:

1. not go to japan for fun. steve will go for work, and sara will just concentrate on moving. that means we'll save a bunch of money that we'll need for the move, and that we can move in late january/early february (a timeframe that was previously available due to the trip). and that means steve can be focused on work stuff after the japan trip.

2. we are going to hire a realtor. we really wanted to sell our place 'fsbo' but even with me staying in the US we can't figure out how we'd be around to show our place since steve will still need to go to japan and i will still need to be working in san fran.

ugh.

i don't like these two decisions one bit.
i realize that they are probably for the best, and that we will be able to get out to san fran a bit sooner, but i'm sad about it.

i'm trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that there are cheap tickets to asia a heck of a lot more often from california than there are from the midwest, so hopefully we can reschedule our trip for sometime when we're not moving and i'm not supposed to be training a new employee (did i mention that i have a new employee who starts in SF on 1/17???). and that would probably be more fun anyway, since japan is pretty cold with not-a-whole-lot going on in late january.

(sigh)

this has not been a relaxing holiday break.
i am excited about the move, but i've been so stressed about it that i'm sleeping too little and drinking too much coffee. and then to add to the stress i've had to go through all of my childhood mementos at my dad's place (aka my childhood home) since he is now pretty much living full time at his girlfriend's. don't get me wrong: i am really happy for him and it is the best possible reason to put a house up for sale. i cried a ton when we went through my grandma's house, cleaning it out to put it up for sale. that was really sad because she's not well and wasn't with us. but saying goodbye to your childhood home isn't easy if you're a sentimental sap like me.
i save everything.
i cry at every movie.
and i lived there until i moved out for college.
...so i bucked up and went through lots of boxes and cabinets of old stuff: yearbooks, love letters, cross-country medals...
i didn't even cry until we drove away.

i'm just not good at dealing with this many things at once. i'm generally a pretty good multi-tasker, so i don't think it's just me -- i think it's probably a lot. it hasn't helped that it's been rainy and gloomy every day (although it is what i expect -- it's michigan in winter, after all).

i am really happy with life in general, but i can't wait until march, when hopefully this is all said and done and we're living in sunny california. i could really use some sun.